Drunk
by KuroAnubis
Summary: "I'm, hic, Canada. And I'm a damn country, tu comprends?" Prussia is left to deal with a drunken Canada returning from his brother's birthday party. Rated T for potty-mouth Canada.


_Drunk  
PruCan_

_"I'm, hic, Canada. And I'm a damn country, tu comprend?" Prussia is left to deal with a drunken Canada returning from his brother's birthday party._

The fourth of July, a day of great patriotic celebration. Or in America's eyes, a day to party and get wasted. It was his birthday, after all. Getting wasted was his favourite part of the day. Of course, everyone was invited. He even remembered Canada this time. Another favourite of his was watching Canada get drunk. It was one of the funniest things he had ever seen. America took the liberty of notifying Prussia first. He reckoned if you weren't prepared for drunk Canada, you're fucked.

"And that's why you need to be _really_ careful what you say to him. He swears like England on a bad day combined with Tony."

Prussia just laughed. "Kesesese! Canada? Drunk _and _swearing? There's a sight I'd like to see!"

"Dude, I'm not kidding. Like a sailor." said America. "Just don't piss him off, okay? It's your balls if you do."

"Yeah, _right. _As if Canada could ever beat up the awesome me! In any case, I'd better stay home. If he gets as bad as you say, another drunk guy wouldn't help."

"Okay buddy." said America, slapping him on the back. "See you whenever. And good luck..." He shook his head.

When he left, Prussia reclined, (or rather, turned himself upside-down) on the couch and let out one of those long horsey, lip-vibrating sighs. America had to be exaggerating. There was no way in hell that Canada, freaking Canada, could become that bad a drunk. For one thing, Canada didn't swear. Not even a 'shit' when something went terribly wrong. It was always 'maple' or 'maple hockey' or anything else involving maple.

_'Better get some sleep, I guess.'_ he thought. 'If I'm going to be up all night."

And sleep was exactly what he needed. At about three in the morning, a loud thump sounded against the door, followed by a swear. "Canada?" Prussia called. Again, a thump against the door. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" He expected to find a haggard-looking, red-eyed Canada, but was met with the lovely face he saw every day.

"Phew." he laughed. "For a second I thought you were really drunk."

"No! _I'm_ fucking drunk! Stop making fun of me!" Canada wailed. Prussia paled. Oh shit, here we go.

"Uh...you should sit down. I'll make you some coffee."

"I don't want no fucking coffee! I want, hic, pancakes, dammit!"

Rather than lose his balls, Prussia decided to make him the damn pancakes.

"What is this madness?!" Canada demanded. "These aren't pancakes!" Prussia glanced at the plate.

"They look like pancakes to me..."

"DON'T FUCKING SHOUT AT ME!" Canada roared. Then his lower lip trembled. He threw his arms around Prussia's neck and let out a low groan.

Then a sigh.

Then a giggle.

Then a creepy laugh and a hiccup.

"Canada, I think you should go to bed. Your brother warned me about this and I'm not going to stand here being yelled and cursed at!" Prussia said sternly. Canada let out another laugh.

"My brother? The great and almighty United States, huh? I'm surprised he cared enough to come over! Because _no one _cares about Canada, right? No one notices me. But you know what? I'm, hic, Canada, and I'm damn country, _tu comprend? _And anyone who says otherwise can _embrasser mon cul!_"

"Why are you speaking French?!"

"_Parce que je baise en avez_ _envie!_" Canada shouted, with a death-glare added. Prussia shook his head, he wasn't taking any more of this. He resorted to pushing Canada towards the bedroom.

"Go to bed! It's for your own sake!" he grunted.

"_Seulement si vous voulez venir avec moi!_" Canada said in an uncharacteristically dreamy way. Prussia could understand only '_avec moi_', but that was all he needed. When he finally got Canada into the bedroom, he shoved him face-first onto the bed.

"Now _sleep_!" he shouted. Canada didn't move for a few minutes, and during that time Prussia leaned against the wall and sighed. How could gentle Canada irritate the awesome him _this _much? The room was quiet for a bit, then a funny noise coming from the bed made him jump. Canada was back for the second round.

"Canada! What the hell did I say?! You need to sleep!"

Canada heaved himself up and kneeled facing his boyfriend. He beckoned him to come forward. Prussia did so, but soon regretted it. "Not, hic, on my own! I want youuu! _Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, maintenant? _That means-"

"I know what it means, _D__ummkopf_." Prussia decided that if he was to insult Canada, he might as well do it in a language that he wouldn't understand. "But I won't do it when you are in this state."

"Scared?"

"What?"

"You're scared." Canada wrapped his arms around his neck again. "You're, hic, scared of my dominating power over you! You're scared you'll shit bricks when you...you know what you're like?"

Prussia was _very_ annoyed at this moment.

"Like a virgiiiiin! Doo doo doo doooo!" Canada sang, poking Prussia's cheeks.

That was it.

Prussia couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Canada by his shoulders and pinned him down. "Like a _Jungfrau_? Really?" he sneered. He then reached over and turned off the light.

...

Canada woke up the next morning with a pounding head and a naked body. He felt like crap. Turning his head to the side was a colossal effort, but he was glad he did. He was greeted with the sleeping face of Prussia, who was also naked.

"But that means..." Canada said to himself. He then noticed the long red scratches on his boyfriend's shoulders, back and face. "Oh no."

Seriously, that was the _last _time he would ever drink. EVER.

Until France's birthday next week.

* * *

**AN: If you read that, then thank you! Kinda rushed in places, but I like the idea of Canada drunk. **

**KA**


End file.
